Hold on
by poorpadfoot
Summary: Hermione had noticed it when she first saw him on the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of their 6th year at Hogwarts. Harry had become colder after the loss of Sirius; he laughed only when the conversation called for it and hardly ever spoke if not spoke
1. Default Chapter

Hold on  
  
Hermione had noticed it when she first saw him on the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of their 6th year at Hogwarts. Harry had become colder after the loss of Sirius; he laughed only when the conversation called for it and hardly ever spoke if not spoken to. Harry was grieving, even his usually startling green eyes seemed faded.  
  
Hermione tried to get him to talk to her, but he never did. Ron noticed the difference to, but unlike Hermione he seemed to think time would heel Harry's wounds. How very wrong he was. Even as Hermione tried to get Harry to talk and Ron acted as if nothing had happened, Harry only seemed to be sinking deeper.  
  
It was under their third week of term that everyone (at least every Gryffindor) really noticed the change in Harry. It was after their double potions class it happened. Harry, Ron and Hermione were leaving the dungeons along with the rest of the gryffindors, when a bunch of slytherins stepped out in front of them and blocked their way, led by none other than Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Well, well what have we here?" said Malfoy with a smirk.  
  
"Sod off, Malfoy!" said Ron.  
  
"I wasn't talking to you, Weasley." said Malfoy.  
  
"Potter, watch your back, there coming for you" he added with a smirk.  
  
"Tell me some thing new." said Harry in a numb sort of voice.  
  
"You're arrogant, Potter." smirked Malfoy. "It'll get you killed. Can't wait!"  
  
"Not arrogant, Malfoy, I just don't care anymore. If we win or loose, it doesn't matter- Because I've already lost!" Harry added as he pushed past the slytherins.  
  
The gryffindors were petrified of what they had just heard. Harry Potter, their hero, didn't care if they won or lost.  
  
"Go to hell, Malfoy!" said Hermione.  
  
"Gladly!" said Malfoy. "C'mon lets leave the persons of these losers before we get infected."  
  
Harry wasn't seen for the rest of the day. It wasn't until 8 o'clock Harry walked through the portrait hole and into Gryffindor common room. When Ron asked where he had been, the only answer he gave was "Out.".  
  
Hermione only sat and watched Harry over the top of her book. It was then she noticed it, blood! Even if Harry obviously had tried to hide it, she still saw it. There was blood staining the arms of his robes. She dreaded the meaning of this. She had seen it coming, but had hoped it wouldn't. Harry was hurting himself. Harry didn't stay long in the common room, said he was tired. Hermione didn't believe him. Hermione decided not to tell anyone about what she had seen. She told herself that if it got worse she would go straight to Dumbledore, but now she would just have to try harder to get Harry to talk.  
  
Guess what. It didn't work.  
  
A few weeks later  
  
The quidditch season was approaching and the team (led by Ron) had started practising. Everyone was exited was exited about the match against slytherin the following week, that is everyone except Harry. Ron had told Hermione that Harry hardly ever showed up for any of the teams practises, but he hadn't been in the common room either. To tell the truth, he hardly ever came into the common room anymore, and if he did he didn't stay long.  
  
He was falling behind with his homework to. He was constantly being told off by teachers, Snape was as usual the worst. He had given Harry detention once for not handing in a essay about the polyjuice potion, Hermione doubted he had showed up for it.  
  
The week leading up to the match was horrible. The usual rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin seemed to have increased over the summer. The Gryffindor team was always being followed by at least five fellow gryffindors in case the slytherins tried to put one of them out of the running. Harry was the one that was taunted the most, but he would just walk away with a dull glance in their direction. By now the whole school knew something had changed Harry, even the slytherins had to have noticed.  
  
Hermione woke with a strange feeling of foreboding on the day of the match. When she sat down at the Gryffindor table she noticed that Harry wasn't there. When she asked Ron where he was he said Harry had already left for the locker rooms. This just didn't ring right, Harry always waited for Ron and vice versa. Hermione told Ron this, but he just shrugged and returned to his bowl of cereal.  
  
When Hermione and Ron were making there way to the quidditch pitch they saw some one running towards them. It was Ginny. Hermione noticed she looked very pale under her freckles. "Ron!" she gasped when she reached them. "Something's wrong!"  
  
"What?!" said Ron. "What is it?"  
  
"This," she said handing Ron an envelope. "It was lying in the locker room."  
  
This is what was written on the front;  
  
"To Ron, my best friend, good bye."  
  
"Oh no!" said Hermione. "He's going to do it!"  
  
"Read it!" urged Ginny.  
  
This is what the letter said  
  
Dear Ron,  
  
I'm sorry it had to end this way. But I just couldn't take it any more, first my parents and now Sirius. I do truly hope that the light defeats the dark, and if not remember that after night comes day. I wish I could live by those rules but the night is just to long for me. I also want to thank you. Thank you for being my friend from day one. You were always there, through the good times and the bad. Please don't cry for me, I swear that the happiest day of my life is the day that I die. 'Till we meat again.  
  
Harry J Potter  
  
"Oh my gosh!" gasped Ginny.  
  
"C'mon!" said Ron. "To the quidditch pitch, all of the teachers are there."  
  
"You go," said Hermione. I'll go find him; I just hope it's not too late."  
  
At this she ran up to the castle. Hermione had no idea were to start looking for Harry. Then it dawned on her, the marauders map! She started running again; she ran all the way up to Gryffindor tower, past the portrait of the fat lady and up the boys' staircase and raced over to Harry's bed. As she started to rummage trough his trunk a voice spoke from the shadows.  
  
"What are you doing Hermione?" said Harry.  
  
She turned. "I was looking for you."  
  
"Why? It's too late, you can't save me."  
  
"As hell I can't!"  
  
"Just walk away, Hermione."  
  
"I can't! You're my best friend; I won't let you leave me."  
  
"It's too much, I can't bare it. I have to go."  
  
"I know this world I cold, but you don't... you don't have to go."  
  
"You don't understand! You don't know how I feel."  
  
"No I don't, not really. But I can guess. You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems too care. Your mothers gone and your father left you, this pain you cannot bare."  
  
Pause  
  
"Am I getting close?"  
  
Harry said nothing.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes." said Hermione. "But you're wrong, I care, Ron and the rest of the Weasleys care. You're not alone!"  
  
"I'm bleeding Hermione. Not on the outside but on the inside."  
  
"I know Harry, but we all bleed the same way as you do. We all have the same things to go thru."  
  
"No you don't!" screamed Harry. "I didn't want this burden. All it does is cause death."  
  
"No, it gives life also. It made Voldemort go away for 15 years and you can make him go away for eternity."  
  
"So? I've already lost"  
  
"No you haven't." said Hermione with tears in her eyes. "You still have me and Ron, don't tell me our friendship counts for nothing."  
  
"Of course it doesn't. It's just so...hard."  
  
"Well hold on, if you feel like letting go. Hold on it gets better than you know."  
  
"It's hard Hermione. The days are just way to long, and at night I can't sleep at all."  
  
"Hold on!"  
  
"I'm not sure what I'm waiting for but I don't want to anymore."  
  
"Hold on Harry. Think about all the innocent people that will suffer if you die."  
  
"I. Don't. Care!"  
  
"But you do. Harry you do. Think about all the people that will bleed the same way you are."  
  
"I can't do this alone."  
  
"You're not alone, you're never alone."  
  
"Stop it Hermione. You can't save me."  
  
"Yes I can!"  
  
"No Hermione. I don't even know what I'm fighting for anymore."  
  
"Well don't stop looking, you're one step closer. Don't stop searching it's not over."  
  
"Hermione, just walk away." as Harry said this he moved towards the window.  
  
Hermione was getting frustrated and scared, what if she failed?  
  
"Ok, fine. Jump. Just answer one question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What are you looking for?"  
  
Silence  
  
"Alright, if that's your answer. What are you waiting for?"  
  
"Hermione, don't do this to me."  
  
"Why not? Do you know what you're doing to me? If you could stop being selfish for just one second and think about how this will effect the people around you, the people who love you."  
  
"I told you, I don't care!"  
  
"Okay, let's try a different angel, shall we. Your parents died to protect you, nice way to pay them back."  
  
"Be quiet!"  
  
"You can't hide from the truth, Harry. Let's talk about Sirius."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Tears were streaming down Harry's cheeks now and Hermione would've gladly stopped to make them go away, but she knew that if she kept going she might be able to save him. "Sirius risked his life to save you, heck he died for you. He died so that you one day could be happy, free. He believed in you, we all do. But I guess we were wrong."  
  
"I'm sorry" whispered Harry.  
  
"Dumbledore told us that the time would come when we would have to choose between what is easy and what is right. I see you chose the easy way."  
  
Harry sank down onto the floor, he was now crying freely. "I'm sorry Hermione."  
  
"Help me..."  
  
With those words Hermione ran over to Harry and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"I will always help you Harry. If promise me you won't leave."  
  
"Hermione..."  
  
"Promise me Harry."  
  
"I promise."  
  
"Oh, Harry..."  
  
Tears were streaming Hermione's cheeks now.  
  
"Thank you" mumbled Harry. "Thank you for saving me."  
  
"I would walk through fire to save you."  
  
Hermione looked in to Harry's eyes and saw once again the startling green. She smiled, a smile that Harry returned And then they kissed...  
  
They broke apart just as the dormitory door burst open and Dumbledore flanked by what looked like the entire Gryffindor house. When Hermione looked up at Dumbledore, Dumbledore knew Harry was saved.  
  
"Harry!" screamed Ron as he made his way towards them. "You're alive!" he added sinking down on the floor beside them.  
  
Over the coming weeks the entire school was talking about Harry's attempted suicide. Everyone was shocked; they never thought Harry would do something like that. There had been 70 points added to the Gryffindor hourglass, everyone said it was because it had been Hermione who found Harry.  
  
Then what about Harry? Well, after Dumbledore had come bursting in to the dormitories he thought it best if Harry came up to his office for a very long talk. Harry was getting better, at last. And Hermione, well she had gone up to her dormitory where she found a letter from Harry.(But that's a different story...)  
  
She and Harry started dating, to the delight their fellow gryffindors as it turned out that most of them had bets going with the ravenclaws if they were ever going to get together. The perfect ending of this story would've been "and they lived happily ever after": But they didn't, not completely. They had a lot of ups and downs but they pulled through, as long as they had each other.  
  
"Never forget that asking for help is not a weakness. It takes courage to confess to someone about your fears and problems. Hold on."  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: Thanks for reading my story, please review. Hope you liked it. I might post Hermione's letter if the interest for it exists. "hint hint" 


	2. Thank you sorry, not the letter

A/N: OMG! Thank you soooo much for the reviews!! This is my first fanfic so I was kind of nervous on how you guys would react to it. Glad you liked it. And I'm working on Hermione's letter so please bear with me. Thanks again! 


	3. The letter

**A/n: THANK YOU!! I got so many reviews (well I got 26, but hey I don't ask for much). I'm floating at the moment, I'm so happy. I thought I would answer them so you'll have to wait a bit for the letter. It's below the A/N for those who couldn't care less about what I've got to say ;)  
  
ponyboyluver: THANK YOU!  
  
LockedInYourHeart: THANK YOU!!  
  
hentai-gigi: THANK YOU!!  
  
The Vampire Story Hunter: no comment  
  
ChibiYugiYasha: THANK YOU!!  
  
Angel-Of-Lightness: THANK YOU!!  
  
madison: THANK YOU!!  
  
JessieRose: THANK YOU!!  
  
Chandler: THANK YOU!! of Course I will e-mail it to you, but wait if you wanted me to e.mail it to you that probablu ment you wouldn't be reading this so I'm just gonna stop now...  
  
Blackrose: THANK YOU!!  
  
blackiebrens: THANK YOU!!  
  
gggggggggggggggg: I understad your pov...  
  
ArwenTurner: THANK YOU!!  
  
padfootpuppyeyes: THANK YOU!! and yes it's from the song Hold on by Good Charlotte (thought I said that in the first A/N..)  
  
Aeilita from Lyoko: THANK YOU!!  
  
Jenn( or is it HarryPotterLuva?): THANK YOU!!  
  
dizzyspells: THANK YOU!!  
  
Schnuff: THANK YOU!!  
  
MauradersMap: THANK YOU!! and yeah I love Good Charlotte  
  
alex: THANK YOU!! no I haven't been ther myself...  
  
librado: THANK YOU!! and yes Hermione knows about the map, remember when she threatend to turn it in?  
  
desipoplover13: THANK YOU!! yhea I know it's gonna be Ron and Hermione, but hey a girl can dream can't she?  
  
Amber G Dog: THANK YOU!!  
  
dxdevlin: THANK YOU!!  
  
kraeg001: THANK YOU!!  
  
And the moment we've all been waiting for..( sorry got a bit carried away)**  
  
**The letter,**  
  
My dearest Hemione,  
  
I would like to thank you for always being there for me, even when I pushed you away.I remember the first time I saw you, I thought you were this annoying know-it-all, I suppose I was right at the time.But after that troll attacked you something changed. I'm actually glad that troll attacked you, as mean as that sounds, because if it hadn't I would've missed out on the greatest friendship in the world. A friendship I will always cherish, even when I'm gone.

But before I go there is something you have to know, I like you and not only as a friend. It took me long enough to realize it, but it's true. I love you with all my heart. The only thing I will regret when I'm gone is that I never had the guts to tell you, and gryffindors are supposed to be brave.

I want you to know that I will be watching over you where ever you go. And I want you to be happy, so please don't cry for me. After all I'm where I'm supposed to be, with my parents and with Sirius. There's something I want you to do for me. Find someone you love and forget about me. Be happy, that's all I ever wanted for you.  
  
With love and eternal gratitude,  
  
_Harry James Potter, yours forever_  
  
Ps. never stop fighting for what you believe in, it'll be worth it in the end.


	4. 

**A/N:** Hi! I just want to thank all of the people who reviewed!! I was walking on clouds for days!! Well, I have decided to write a sequel yey but It'll probably take a while before I get it done, I'm going to London for 2 weeks so I'm going to take a break from writing....but I'll keep you guys posted on how it's going....! I'll be posting new chapters regularly just to keep my story "hot"...It'll mostly be answers to reviews (if I get any..) and updaes on the sequel.....

lots of love  
_Poor padfoot_


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